God of Scandalous Grace - Tamar's Story
/Tamar’s story could easily be a modern day mini-series. If it were, I’m not sure what rating it would receive! The drama that unfolds is nothing short of scandalous, yet, God weaves this story with threads of grace, redemption and hope. Anyone who thinks the Bible is a boring book filled with outdated stories, has not read the tale of Tamar and Judah.
Imagine the drama opening with the final scene of Genesis 37. A Midianite caravan pushes off with it’s cargo, camels loping into the distance. The cries for mercy from a strapping seventeen-year-old pierce the dusty evening air as he is carried away in chains. Joseph’s status of favored-youngest-son was instantly plummeted to slave, when his brothers maliciously sold him to the Midianite traders. As the caravan disappears in the direction of Egypt, the camera pans to Joseph’s brothers.
Judah, the one who had suggested selling Joseph, rather than murdering him, pats himself on the back for thinking up such a great idea. He divides the twenty shekels of silver among his brothers amid whoops of laughter and celebration. They are finally rid of their father’s “favorite”!
After a commercial break, as the viewers anxiously wonder about the fate of Joseph, the storyline shifts to the life of Judah. Genesis 38 opens with these words: “At that time, Judah went down from his brothers…” This brother, one of Jacob’s 12 sons, separates himself from his family and marries a Canaanite woman. Three sons (and several years) later, Judah takes a wife for his eldest son, Er.
It is here that we meet Tamar. We are given no background on this emerging character, who is presumably also a Canaanite, but she is about to become a prominent figure.
The scriptures spare many details when it comes to Tamar, but it does tell us that her husband, Er, was wicked. Wicked, as in Sodom and Gomorrah. The kind of wickedness that existed in the days of Noah, when “The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.” (Gen 6:5) God stepped in and put Er to death before they had their first child.
According to the Levirate law and the custom of the day, the brother of the deceased was responsible to step up to perform the duty of a husband. The first son born to that brother would carry on the name of the deceased. Doing so would be an act of sacrificial love. It would mean sacrificing a large part of his inheritance for the sake of his family. This was not mandatory. However, if the brother chose not to take the widow she was entitled to pull off his sandal, spit in his face in the presence of the elders and say, “So shall it be done to the man who doesn’t build up his brother’s house.” (Deut 25:9)
Er’s younger brother, Onan stepped up. Unfortunately, he wasn’t willing to build up his brother’s house, but he was too much of a coward to suffer public shame. He played the part of the responsible, sacrificial brother carrying out his duty. He appeared to be willing to relinquish a large portion of his own inheritance, but when it came down to it, he was selfish and depraved.
Tamar was probably the only one who knew Onan’s dirty little secret of withdrawing during intercourse in order to prevent impregnating her. He was using Tamar for his own pleasure, but unwilling to give her the pleasure of bearing a child. Actually, Tamar wasn’t the only one who saw this private act of degradation and humiliation. “What Onan did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and He put him to death also.” (Gen 38:10)
God sees, even in the most private places. In the most degrading and dark circumstances, He sees the wickedness being committed against His children. And God deals with it, in His way and in His time.
Again, Tamar is widowed. Motivated by fear, Judah sends her to live in her father’s house with the “promise” that one day, she will marry Shelah, his youngest son. Though under her father’s roof, she remains under the authority of Judah and will never have the opportunity to marry another.
We see Tamar, who has been abused, widowed and deceived, wandering back to her father’s house. It is unlikely that she would receive a warm welcome, after all, she had failed to produce children not only once, but twice. And who would believe that she was not at fault? Judah has no intention of ever having her marry Shelah… As this realization dawns on Tamar, she formulates a plan.
After the death of Judah’s wife, he plans a trip with his friend. Tamar, knowing her father-in-law’s character, disguises herself as a prostitute and is propositioned by Judah. Though this seems scandalous, Tamar was acting in accord with the Levirate law, which states that if the brother is unwilling to perform the duty of a husband, then the next of kin has the opportunity to step up – which, in this case, would have been Judah himself.
When Judah asks Tamar to purchase her services she asks him ironically, “What will you give me?” Realizing that this might eventually get her into trouble, Tamar shrewdly extracts from Judah his seal, cord and staff (the modern day equivalent of his wallet, driver’s license and credit card).
Three months later, the report reaches Judah that Tamar has conceived by playing the part of a common whore. Judah’s hypocrisy is obvious . He immediately demands, “Bring her out and let her be burned!” Stoning would have been the customary penalty for her actions, but Judah has a score to settle. Perhaps this was the chance he had been waiting for to get rid of this woman whom he suspected of causing the death of his first two sons.
As the wood is stacked under the stake where she is to be burned and the crowd begins to gather, we can imagine the background music climbing to a crescendo. At just that moment Tamar produces Judah’s ID. “I am pregnant by the man to whom these things belong. Please identify whose these are…” The music stops and the camera zooms in on Judah’s incredulous face as beads of sweat form on his forehead.
This is Judah’s defining moment. He is transformed, at once, from a self-righteous judge pronouncing condemnation on his allegedly immoral daughter-in-law, to a man who recognizes his own fault in the matter. His concluding remarks: “She is righteous, not I, since I did not give her to my son, Shelah”, reveal his change of heart. We are relieved to learn that “he did not know her again.” Judah, for the first time, did right by Tamar.
Six months later, Perez, the younger of Tamar’s twins bursts onto the scene before his brother Zerah. And through Perez the line of the Messiah continues. As for Tamar, it might surprise you, that every other mention of her in scripture is one of honor. She is mentioned in the blessing of the Elders that witness the marriage of Ruth and Boaz.
In the book of Matthew, as the genealogy of the line of Jesus is recorded, there are forty-two men listed, and only five women. And who is the first woman to make the list? The unlikely Tamar. God’s grace is never so evident, as when we see Him including characters like Judah and Tamar in His story of redemption!
As the credits roll we are forced to think about the implications of Tamar’s story. Far from being a skeleton in the closet, God preserved this account for all to read. Tamar, the Canaanite whose bold and potentially deadly escapade rescued the family line of Judah, is the first woman to be called righteous in scripture.
This narrative reminds us that God’s ways are higher than our ways. God is so much bigger than the sins, the mistakes and the violations committed against us. He does not sanitize our stories or shy away from the sordid details of our lives. As a matter of fact, He is the One who orchestrates the events of our complex lives.
Have you ever considered that God could actually use sin to accomplish His purpose? It seems sacrilegious to say such a thing. But if God is sovereign, and ultimately can use everything for good, that must include sin. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this idea. However, when I consider the treacherous, illegal, fraudulent trial of Jesus, and the heinous acts committed against Him, I come away with this realization: God used the sins of man to bring about the greatest good – the ability to be free from sin, through Jesus’ sacrificial death! We know it wasn’t the scheming of the scribes and Pharisees which put Jesus on the cross. It was the will of the Father.
As for Judah, God pours His grace on the undeserving, calling His very own son “The Lion of the Tribe of Judah”. He gives second chances (and third and fourth…) He proves over and over again that His love never has been, nor ever will be based on our performance. And sometimes he uses a gutsy woman to call forth the good in a man.
This story is taken from Genesis 37-38 NIV. I have taken some creative license with my descriptions. I encourage you to pick up the Bible and read this account for yourself and consider these lessons learned from Tamar’s story:
Judah was not a stellar character, yet Jesus takes the title, “The Lion of the Tribe of Judah”. What can this tell us about the types of people God uses to bring about His purposes?
Tamar was most certainly a victim of abuse. Her actions might even seem questionable to us. Yet, she is highlighted in Jesus’ genealogy (Matthew 1:3). Why would God hand-pick Tamar to be the first woman named in the line of Jesus?
Psalm 34:18 (NIV) says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” How did Tamar experience this?
Are there parts of your own life that feel like they should be hidden away under a cloak of shame? How does Tamar’s story, and God’s scandalous grace speak to your heart?
If God used this unlikely cast of characters to build His family, none of us are beyond His reach!