College Drop Off 2020
/Hey, Mama’s doing college drop off… I’m sending you all the love and a little encouragement!
Yesterday I gave Caleb one last hug before he left the house for his gap year adventure with One Life Institute. I went upstairs, past his empty room, crawled back into bed, and cried. Last week I left Gabrielle standing by the dorm elevator and watched her bright smile as she waved goodbye. I waved back, honked, and rounded the corner. I couldn’t even make it out of the parking garage without bawling, wiping back just enough tears to see where I was driving. This is college drop off. It’s smiles and tears, excitement and apprehension, joy, and sadness, mingled together rolling down my cheeks!
You’d think by number five, things would be easier. They aren’t. This might be the hardest year yet as my youngest two head off to school mid-pandemic. I’ve had to tell myself a few truths that are helping me through this season. Maybe these reminders will help you too...
1 Life has always been uncertain.
This year's college drop-off felt more like a visit to Urgent Care, than a welcome-week. We were greeted on campus by a medical team taking our temperatures, and asking us to fill out health surveys. ( I dropped my daughter off at school in Palm Beach, FL, currently the COVID capital of the world.) All the new faces we met were only half visible behind masks. It was weird. And a little unsettling.
Traveling to college in 2020
It’s a scary time to drop our kids off at college. The world is changing rapidly and none of us knows what to expect tomorrow. But the certainty we thought we had before COVID was just a myth. Accidents happen. People get sick unexpectedly. Natural disasters take us by surprise. If these past few months have taught us anything, it’s this: Life is uncertain. No matter the safety measures we take, just being alive is risky. Our kids are experiencing the world as it is - crazy, unpredictable, and full of new challenges every day.
2 We’ve been preparing for this all our lives.
They were so little the first time they went to the other side of the world without me!
Over the past few years, I’ve waved goodbye to my kids as they’ve embarked on some pretty big adventures. Caleb and Bre traveled to Africa for the first time at ages 14 and 15. I dropped Gabrielle off at gymnastics hundreds of times, always praying she wouldn’t get injured. Alex served a term in Iraq and Isabella started her own little family several hours away. (Not to mention Caleb’s 7-week backpacking trip to Europe with his cousin, or his 15-week cross country trip with his buddy, or his hitchhiking adventure from coast to coast…the week the world shut down.)
Every time I’ve said goodbye, I‘ve reminded myself of these words,
“If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.”
Psalm 139:9-10 NIV
I believe what’s true for the Psalmist, is true of my kids as well.
From the first time they whisk our infant away from us in the hospital, to kindergarten drop off, to summer camps, and slumber parties; from, “Mommy, can I walk to the neighbor’s house?” to “Hey Mom, can I use the car?”, we’ve been practicing our goodbyes for years. My friend who’s a bit older than me, says, “Parenting is just a series of learning to let go, over and over and over.” Yep.
3 We will be ok.
Some parents can’t wait for their kids to leave for college. I’m not one of them. When they were little, I always hated back to school shopping because it signaled the end of pool days, and popsicles and drive-in movies. I’ve loved watching my kids grow into adults. I’m going to miss processing life with them and having their friends over. I’ll miss family nights with everyone playing games, eating pizza, and watching movies together.
Even if you’re ready to have some distance between yourself and your college student, it might be hard to say goodbye. As our kids leave it’s normal to battle what I call, “post-parting depression.” But we need to realize they aren’t the only ones on a new adventure. We have opportunities to grow and change as well. There’s something for us in every season. Start asking yourself what dreams you’ve put on hold and find a way to pursue them.
4 Keeping in touch is easier than ever.
Back in the day, I had to send letters home via snail mail, or stand in line to use a payphone if I wanted to reach my parents. Today, we can Facetime our kids and see everything they’re doing in real-time. (Does this remind anyone else of George Jetson?) WhatsApp, Marco Polo, and other apps help make the space between us feel a little bit smaller.
5 This is part of our job description.
Sending our kids off to college means we’ve prepared them to be on their own. Yay us!! We can be proud of them and thankful they’re becoming fully-functioning adults. We can celebrate their desire to move on, instead of sitting in our basement playing video games.
“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” Psalm 127:4 ESV Arrows are meant to be released. We spend years preparing them, then we pull back. It’s time to launch. It’s hard and scary and exciting and thrilling all at once. And like shooting an arrow, there’s a bit of a sting. But what a privilege to stand back and watch God guide them on the wings of the wind!
6 Our kids are, and always have been, in God’s hands. Literally.
Psalm 139 describes God knitting each of us in our mother’s womb. When I think of God’s mighty hand knitting my child together with care, precision, and love, I’m awed. I trust Him to care for His creation. I know nothing can touch them without His consent. So I pray and release them into His all-powerful hands. As my daughter recently said, “He is good and faithful, and worthy of all my trust.”
7 We can still influence our kids every day.
I recently read the book, A Praying Life. Author Paul E Miller said something to the effect of, “I need to talk to my kids less and pray for them more.” At least that’s a concept I picked up from his book. At the recommendation of a friend, I just started Stormie Omartian’s’ book, The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children. I’ve been reminded of the privilege and responsibility we have as parents to continue to effect change in the lives of our kids even when they’re away from us.
8 This is a milestone to celebrate!
Though I’m going to miss my kids, I know they’re going to be a gift to the people they meet. Their joy, kindness, and fun-loving attitudes are going to bless others like crazy.
So we can celebrate who our kids are and who they’re becoming. We can entrust them to God, and cheer them on, even through our tears! I’m with you, friends. Feel free to call me for a cry fest, but do it soon, because, in a few weeks, I’ll be figuring out my next adventure!