I leaned against the windowsill and traced the cold, hard, stones with my fingertips. I stretched out as far as I could to breathe in the cool night air. Even the glowing torches below, couldn’t snuff out the light of a thousand diamonds in the sky. Though my heart ached, I couldn’t cry a single tear. When had I become like those stones: cold, hard, impenetrable?

Gulping back tears, I made my way toward the back, searching for an empty seat. As I walked that lonely aisle I made myself a silent promise, “I will never tell anyone again!”

Sometimes we doubt God’s love. Circumstances. Challenges. Unanswered prayers. Life shattering events. Sometimes the rug gets pulled out from under our lives, and we get the wind knocked out of us. Maybe you’re wondering if God loves you.

Glorious suffering - two words I wouldn’t pair together.  I’ll take glorious victory, freedom, grace, or blessing, thank you very much!  I’d even settle for a glorious sunset. I’ll pass on the suffering though. I’m not interested in lingering in the painful, the hard, the bitter. Glorious suffering? Is that even a thing?  

God sees, even in the most private places. In the most degrading and dark circumstances, He sees the wickedness being committed against His children. And God deals with it in His way and in His time. 

If it were up to us, most of us would erase, hide or cover up our scars, be they physical, mental or emotional… But maybe our scars are the very thing that God wants to use to resurrect the faith of someone else. Maybe our scars should be seen and celebrated because their stories tell of a God who has the power to bring life out of death, and beauty out of brokenness.

“I feel so discarded.” Those heavy-hearted words rang through on a text. I knew my friend was in the midst of a painful breakup, but the word “discarded” implied so much more than just the loss of a relationship. In that one word were feelings of being used up, unnecessary, rejected, and unwanted.