Free Fall
/A few months ago my 18 year old twins went skydiving with friends. I watched. This was their first jump, so they went tandem, strapped to an experienced diver.
As the small prop plane climbed to 14,000 feet, they prepared to launch. They connected themselves to the instructor with clips at shoulders, hips and knees. Next, they sat on the edge of the plane, legs dangling out the open door. Then they waited. When he was ready, the instructor pushed off and they went into a forty second free fall, heads thrown back, legs bent behind them.
When the instructor pulled the chute, it opened (in answer to my constant prayers)! For the next ten minutes, they glided through the sky, twirling, and whooping, until they came to a gentle stop in the landing field. They were ecstatic!
To the last one, free fall was their favorite part. I would have, rather, enjoyed the slow descent under the deployed chute. There, I could enjoy the scenery and even have a bit of control. And isn’t that what I always want, a bit of control?
This is free fall!
Free fall is complete abandon. It’s full surrender to the One I’m strapped to, knowing He is trustworthy. It’s exhilarating and risky, and, wondrous. But oh so scary and I resist it, though it beckons me to freedom!
Sometimes my life feels like a free fall. But rather than throw my head back and enjoy the ride, I frantically grasp for the ropes, pulling and tugging, wanting to open the chute and steer myself in a certain direction. I’ve given my life to Jesus. In essence, I’ve clipped myself to Him and signed the waiver, giving Him full control. But living it out daily, is another story.
He’s with me, saying , “It’s ok, T, I’ve got you. You can let go, release your grip. I’m with you, and I won’t let you crash and burn. I’m holding you and I love you. I’ll love you no matter your failures and setbacks. No matter who disappoints you, I’ll never leave you. I’ll love you if you don’t earn a lot of money, or don’t get noticed in the world. I love you now, and I’ll keep loving you until I land us safely into eternity, because you’re precious to Me. You’re Mine.”
Tears flow because though I hear the words, my heart wars to believe them. Fear, that demonic liar, tells me they’re too good to be true. “No, T, you’ve got to work, to strive, to produce. You’ve got to prove yourself worthy.”
I know the words of Jesus are truer. God’s love for me has been declared, demonstrated and proven. It’s assured and sealed. Yet I still struggle to throw my head back and abandon myself to His perfect, unencumbered love!
I asked the kids if they were nervous at all while free-falling through the sky at 120 mph. “Not at all! We were strapped so tightly to our guide, there wasn’t even a thought that anything could happen to us!”
I told them if they ever go again, I’m going with them! I want to know what it is to live so fully free. And then I realized that I can experience free fall right now. I can pry my fingers open and fully abandon myself to the life God has given me, trusting Him. There is so much freedom in letting go, and simply leaning in to Him.
What about you? How are you living? Stiff, tight-fisted, stubbornly trying to grasp for control? Or living with the exhilaration of being fully loved, and tightly strapped to the One who gave Himself for you? What practices do you have that re-center your heart on Jesus and His perfect love -the love that not only stretches on for eternity, but also reaches down and wraps itself around your heart as you free fall at 120mph?
Yes, c jumped in his Pooh suit, because, “why not?!”