Snapshots - Sarah's Story

Dear Sarah,

You, my friend, are a “kindred spirit”.  In your life, I see my own questions, struggles, fears and weaknesses portrayed.  I weep with you over the barrenness of your womb and laugh with you at the birth of Isaac.  I marvel with you at God’s ability to bring life from a dead womb, doing what is beyond rational hope.  I cringe with you, as you treat your servant, Hagar, with callous brutality.   I shudder with you at the precarious positions your husband put you in, and hope that I too will share your gracious response.  Sarah, the snapshots of your life bring hope and faith to my heart as I thumb through the pages of your story.

The things that define us

You are introduced as a woman who is “barren”.  According to the author of Genesis, that is what defines you.  “Now Sarah was barren. She had no child.” I know what barrenness is, but the explanation underscores your plight.  Empty, hollow, lifeless…what do you bring to the table? How many times have I felt this way?  Not only regarding an empty womb, but in so many other ways.  I don’t measure up.  I don’t have what it takes.

 In my own life, I had a very short brush with infertility.  A doctor’s diagnosis.  Three years of “trying”.  Hoping against hope.  Month after month of disappointment.  I remember when my sister went on vacation with her husband “to get pregnant”.  Nine months later, she was nursing her second child.  My other sister had already birthed 5 children, all of them “without trying”.  There I was, year after year, with a pile of pregnancy tests devoid of that little pink line. 

But you, Sarah, were defined by your barrenness.  In your culture, that was the ultimate disgrace and even a sign of divine disfavor. After years of unanswered prayer, and a seemingly forgotten promise, I understand your frustration and anger.  Not that it’s right, but I get it.

Enough!

And so you did what made sense to you.  You did what was culturally acceptable... “If a wife doesn’t give birth within 2 years, she will purchase a slave for her husband.” You and Abraham had long surpassed the two year mark.  And how convenient, you already had a slave!  As soon as Hagar turned up pregnant, your empty womb mocked you. Your pain escalated further when she turned on you with contempt.  And why wouldn’t she?  Did you even think to ask her before you “took her” and “gave her” to Abraham to bear your child?  Taking matters into our own frustrated and controlling hands seldom turns out the way we plan.   

When I read of the way you treated Hagar “so harshly that she fled”, I held my breath.  I too have treated God’s children with harsh anger.  I too have been known to fly into a rage or to overreact to a situation, because of the anger that has been brewing in my heart far too long.  Incidentally, the child Hagar bore was never once referred to as your son.  I’m sorry that this is part of your story, but at the same time, I am thankful to know that God doesn’t discard me in my brokenness. He doesn’t give up on me when I mess up.

Laughter

At long last, God said you, Sarah, would bear a son.  You, the one with the dead womb.  The “barren” one.  The one who was eighty-nine years old. Ha!! That was a good one!  You laughed.  Of course you did. Who wouldn’t have laughed at the absurdity of it all? You hadn’t had a period in years and things between you and Abraham hadn’t exactly been hot lately! 

You didn’t believe. At least that’s how it appeared to me.  Yet, that is not how God remembered it.  Hebrews 11:11 (NIV) says that “By FAITH, Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.” (italics added).  Somewhere along the way, your faith grew up.  And God saw it.  He saw that you considered Him faithful, even after years of silence.  Even after He had said “no” for so long. You believed His “No” was actually a “Not yet”.

My heart rejoiced with yours when you gave birth to Isaac.  “God has made laughter for me…Who would’ve said that Sarah would nurse children?”(Genesis 21:6,7)  The party in your heart must have been beyond words!  You answered God’s question, “Is anything too hard for the LORD?” with a resounding “NO!”  I remember the moment I gave birth to my daughter after struggling with infertility for only three short years.  The joy, love, gratitude and wonder of it all overwhelmed me.  I’m sure it was merely a shadow of what you experienced.

God had your back

There is one more snapshot in your album that resonates with me.  I read about those times when your husband was making selfish choices. I watched you enter Pharaohs’ court and Abimelech’s harem, while Abraham was looking out for his own skin.  Yet, God had your back.  “The Lord afflicted Pharaoh…because of Sarah.”  God came to Abimelech in a dream and said, “You’re a dead man…because of Sarah”.  You walked in submission and put your hope in God.  And, every time, you were reminded that God was looking out for you!

I love the way the NLT describes you as a woman who cultivated the kind of heart I long to have....”You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust [hope] in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.” 1 Pet 3:4-6 (NLT)

I had thought, by marrying a pastor, I could sail into marital bliss and escape the usual challenges. It turns out Greg and I are still human.   As a couple, we’ve had to deal with the fallout of one another’s sinful choices. There you were Sarah, speaking  life into my marriage during our hardest days.

I may need to fight for my marriage in prayer, or by bringing others alongside us in our struggle.  But most often, I need to voice my concern and back off. Even moreso, I need to cultivate within my own heart a gentle and quiet spirit. A spirit which knows how to trust, be still, and put my hope in God the way you did. Even when it wasn’t easy.

[Note:  I am not saying that a wife should ever tolerate or condone abuse of any kind, nor should she willingly participate in sin.  I don't think it was right for Sarah to tell the half-truth (aka whole-lie)“He is my brother”, but she probably had no choice. Sometimes a woman needs to leave a marriage for the sake of her and her children’s safety. ]

Thank you

Thank you, Sarah, for the lessons you’ve taught me.  I have to believe that the years of wrestling with God brought you closer to Him.  I’m sure that as you felt His hands pressing you to the mat and His warm breath on your face, you also saw the love and grace in His eyes.  You heard the whisper of His voice, “Be still, and know that I am God.”(Psalm 46:10)  “ I love you , and you are mine.”(Isa 43:1, 4)   I know that has been the case with me.

Author’s note: This post is based on the life of Sarah, taken from the book of Genesis. If you are not familiar with her, I highly encourage you to read the biblical account of her life found in Genesis 11:27-12:30; 16:1-6; 17:15-21; 18:1-15; 20; 23:1-2; 21:1-14